Battle of the Raps
by prplemyth
Summary: It's a dreary day at camp with everyone fearing the impending invasion by Kronos and their possible deaths, and what better to lighten the mood? RAP BATTLE! True ridiculousness. Rating for language only.
1. Percy

_A/N: I can't decide if this is a parody or just complete and utter stupidity. So read it and laugh – I hope. Otherwise I would feel bad for making you waste your time._

_If you want the next four raps (Beckendorf's, Katie's, Grover's and Annabeth's) tell me in a review. I have no idea if I plan on continuing this, but if people like it, then I definitely will, so let me know!_

It was the first week of Camp, and everyone was prepared for battle at every moment, even though Percy's birthday was two months away.

The camp fire was quiet. No one felt like speaking, because no one wanted to talk about the issue at hand.

Luke. Kronos. Their impending doom. Broken nails.

You know. All the normal worries for teenagers.

Silena was sitting next to Beckendorf, the two of them canoodling as usual.

Annabeth was sitting next to Percy, the two of them arguing as usual.

"Oh, I could so beat you!" said Annabeth with a laugh. It was a startling noise in the quiet. People turned to look at the two of them, and Annabeth blushed lightly. "Sorry," she said, laughing.

"What's so funny?" asked Connor Stoll.

"Yeah," said his brother Travis, "We could all use a laugh these days."

The whole came turned to look at Percy and Annabeth, who fidgeted. Chiron said, "Well, what is it?"

"Percy thinks he could beat me in a rap battle."

"Oh hell no," said Connor, "No way."

"Percy would so win!" said Travis.

"Bet on it?"

"Twenty bucks and next week's chores?"

"Deal."

"You two," said Travis, "Rap battle. Now."

Percy and Annabeth turned to each other, "What?"

"We bet on it," said Connor, the whole camp staring at him, "You two have to do it. Rap battle. Proceed."

"I want in," said Beckendorf.

"The bet?" said Connor, "Sure, I'd love to take your money."

"No, you idiot," said Beckendorf, laughing, "The rap battle. You in, Silena?"

"Oh, no," said Silena, shaking her head, "The only thing I rap is presents."

The camp burst into laughter. Silena rarely joked, but when she did it was always funny.

"Okay then," said Chiron, "Does anyone else want to give it a try?" A few hands went up. "Okay then," said the centaur, "Stand in a line and we'll begin with Percy."

There weren't too many people in the line. Percy, Annabeth, Beckendorf, Katie Gardner, and Grover were prepared to battle.

The Camp filed into the pavilion, where the rappers would perform. All non-performers sat in the audience, and Chiron appeared on stage first.

"Okay, everyone, are you ready?"

The crowd cheered.

"Each camper will get the same beat. They will get thirty seconds to rap, and then they will be cut off. After this we will choose the top three rappers, who will then battle freestyle against each other. First up – Percy Jackson!"

The crowd cheered and the beat began.

"Yo my name is Percy,

And I'm Jacked, son,

And I'm in a prophecy,

Hell yeah I'm the one,

I'ma die super soon,

Or live super long,

I'm here to beat Annabeth,

Who is totally wrong,

I took down a Minotaur,

Before I was a teen,

And I owned the empousa,

That bitch was so mean,

I'm not the smartest guy,

In this whole world,

But I can hold my breath underwater,

Can you say that, girl?

You may be a Wise Girl,

But I've got a brain,

And I beat you in that spar,

What now? Oh you're lame,

I'm awesome with a sword,

And I'm cooler than you,

Hey look I'm gonna win,

Annabeth, you'll lose!"

The audience laughed and clapped as he rapped, and Annabeth looked positively murderous. She would get her revenge though. She had some things in mind. And they were good. It was a good thing she decided to do this, because she would be humiliated if Percy had the last word.

She wasn't up next. But she'd be up there tearing Percy down quite soon.

He'd regret the day he challenged her.

_A/N2: My mother said the "the only thing I rap is presents" earlier today during present opening. Merry Christmas (or Crissmas for those Starkids out there!)_


	2. Beckendorf's Jam

_A/N: If you can believe it, this is even stupider than the one before. I wrote the most of it at 2:25AM last night, after watching far too many Percabeth videos, writing far too much Percabeth fic, and shooting my new Christmas Nerf gun far too much._

_Yeah. And I'm 19._

_Anyway, this is the dumbest thing ever. The first chapter, stupidity wise, cannot hold a candle to this absurdity. I sort of changed the style a bit, so we can hear Annabeth's response to everyone's raps._

_All of my PJO fics tend to be Annabeth centric. I hope no one minds. She's just my favorite character, and I can empathize with her more. Well. Sympathize. I am not a demigod with a hot boyfriend. I'm not even a mortal with a hot boyfriend._

_Rambling. Sorry._

_I hope you like the chapter!_

Before Annabeth could go up, Beckendorf had to go, then Katie, then Grover.

Beckendorf came up onto the stage, but stopped Chiron before he could begin the beat.

"Um," he said, "Can I have Silena up here?"

Chiron looked around to the rest of the competitors. Percy, who was strutting around like he just won a Nobel Rap Prize, was not exactly responsive until Annabeth, still stinging from his rap, smacked him upside the head.  
"Ow."

"Aww, did I hurt your seaweed brain?"

"Shut up," said Beckendorf, "The master has to rhyme."

The rest of the competitors agreed, and Katie was called onstage with Beckendorf. She was blushing prettily, and, of course, she looked adorable, graceful and small, next to Beckendorf, for whom it would have to be opposite day to call graceful or small.

He walked to the center of the stage, nodded to Chiron to start the beat, and began.

"I'm Beckendorf, bitches, and it's plain to see,

I'm gonna rule these raps and those kids back there,

Will cry to their mommies and their dear daddies who,

Are various gods and goddesses but can't help them here,

Because Annabeth is smart, I can give her that,

But she's got no style, no flow, no game,

And I'm sorry, daughter of Athena,

I'm gonna make you run in shame,"

At this, Annabeth crossed her arms. Why was everyone picking on her?

Okay, fine, it might have something to do with the fact that she was yelling at everyone for talking about the new Harry Potter movie when they should have been strategizing early that day.

And yeah, she blew everyone's mood when she did the exact math out to figure out how many hours were left until Percy turned 16 and the whole world was scheduled to blow to hell.

But Beckendorf was not allowed to be mean to her. Or she was going to put him to shame when she went up there. Because she knew his secret.

And it.

Was.

Good.

"And here we are, it's Percy who's not allowed,

He messes up a lot but his daddy is still proud,

When he messes up at all it draws a crowd,

Of monsters, and his war cry is loud,"

Percy's head whipped up. Him in a rap? This wouldn't end well.

"He's the hero of the prophecy and he's pretty cool,

And everyone here likes him but Clarisse,

But there's something a little off about being around,

A super cool dude who smells like a pool,"

Uproarious laughter. Downright calamity.

Annabeth falling off the stage she was laughing so hard.

The usual.

"And the other thing bout' Percy that's pretty weird,

Is he has this girl that he's hangin around,"

Annabeth's ears perked up and she pulled herself off the floor. Was Beckendorf stealing her idea? Well she had no choice. She would have to kill him.

But, right before she managed to pull her knife out, Beckendorf said something different.

"And she's pretty awesome, the truth be told,

But he's too much of a loser to go to town,"

If he was talking about Rachel, thought Annabeth, he'd be killed because that was her line. If he was talking about Annabeth, he would be killed because GO TO TOWN? GO TO TOWN. THAT IS NOT HOW SOMEONE TALKED ABOUT ANNABETH CHASE.

She would prefer Percy to kiss her gently, cradling her head in his hands, softly and sweetly but still showing her he knew what he was doing –

"Shut up, annoying, stupid Percy-lovin' voice!" she muttered. Percy gave her a weird look.

Annabeth gave him a rude hand gesture.

They went back to being annoyed at both each other and Beckendorf.

"She's got blonde hair and a bangin bod,"

That did it.

Annabeth went to rush the stage, but Percy wrapped his arms around her waist, and whispered into her ear, "Wait until the battle is over. He's good. Plus, he's huge. You'd get squashed by one swat of his mighty hand."

"What?" said Annabeth, pretending she didn't enjoy the fact that Percy was essentially hugging her, "Swat of his mighty hand?"

Percy shrugged, "I'm in pretty much a poetry competition," He said, "I'm feeling the words flow." To Annabeth's chagrin, when she gave him a what-the-hell-are-you-on look, he let go of her, since she was much more befuddled by Percy's phrase than by Beckendorf's offensive yet flattering comment.

She went to ask Percy what was going on, but he shook his head and nodded up to Beckendorf.

They had missed a little bit, but he was still going.

"But my girl Silena is the prettiest of all,

And when I hold her the world falls into place,

I know everything is perfect if she's just mine,

And I can see the stars shine when I look in her face."

The music stopped, and there was a chorus of "aw!" and "That's so cute!" and "Wow, that was cheesy," and "Has Annabeth exploded yet?"

Annabeth, however, was just preparing her exact line for blowing Beckendorf's cover.

And it would be sweet, sweet revenge.

Hopefully, she mused, Grover and Katie's raps wouldn't insult her. She could only fit so much into thirty seconds of rap, even though she did speak too quickly.


	3. A Garden Rap with a side of Confusion

_A/N: For those who wonder, Annabeth will be the fourth rapper, so it's this chapter with Katie's and Grover's, and then Annabeth's._

_Also, I don't own the Incredibles. If you can find the reference, you're officially awesome._

_Just a warning – this got even more ridiculous. I don't know how. But it did._

_Read, enjoy, and if you want to make me smile, review! _

Katie took a deep breath and stepped to the front of the crowd, and she saw Travis passing notes in the front. He gave her a little wink, and she, as custom had it, stuck her tongue out at him.

Everyone, when asked, said that Percy and Annabeth were the most obvious not-couple-who-should-be at camp, but Annabeth, as she watched their exchange, thought that Katie and Travis would be quite adorable together.

If Travis would just stop being…Annoying.

Percy, still with that smug, "Hey, I'm awesome, I'm going to win" look on his face came over to Annabeth.

"Plant lady's going to beat you," he said with a smile.

Annabeth was indignant. She presented this by glaring at Percy, and sputtering something along the lines of, "Hubup. Shizupnuzzlebudumpuh! NO!"

She mentally cursed Percy for managing to turn her brain to mush.

"That's what I thought," said Percy with a wink.

Annabeth took a leaf out of Katie's book and stuck her tongue out at him.

"You ready, Katie?" Chiron asked her.

Katie nervously nodded, and Chiron started the beat.

"Demeter is my mom and you guys better know,

That this plant lady's gonna rule the show,

And even though Travis seemed to bet against me,

I'm gonna rap about him, cuz he's a sweetie,"

The entire audience's collective mouth dropped open. Seriously. Annabeth thought it looked a little like the room was filled with invisible dentists working on each of the campers.

No one called Travis a sweetie. If anything, Travis was the Hershey bar with a razorblade hidden inside – cute and sweet on the outside with an insult or prank waiting to pounce.

"Travis is adorable, and he's such a mush,

And he totally loves it when I pinch his tush,

We've been dating in secret for about three weeks,

But he won't let me tell people cuz he's a freak,

So I'm using this rap as a way to blab this secret,

Because Travis is a wimp who will lose the bet,"

The dentists seemed to have returned. Travis had turned bright red, and Connor was laughing hysterically at his brother who continued to sit there as Connor poked him and screamed, "GET IT, TRAVIS."

Katie pulled out a conveniently placed shoe from her purse and chucked it at Connor, who fell over, twitching.

"I don't care if I win or lose this,

All I wanna do is annoy Travis,

Because he wouldn't tell anyone about us,

And it's finally time I put up a fuss,

So plant girl owns Travis' face,

And now she'll disappear to be chased."

Obviously, the last line was literally made up as she said it, because she started running from a furious Travis as the beat began to stop, but it was a convenient rhyme. Travis leapt upon the stage and put his hands on his hips. "MILADY. I didn't tell anyone because that would mean that I would have to tell you that I liked you, and you can't tell a girl that you like her, because it makes you look like an idiot!"

"I already know you like me!" shouted Katie.

"You cannot speak of these horrid events!" he yelled. Katie paused and turned around to him.

"Horrid events?" she said, turning around and stepping towards a now quivering Travis. "Horrid EVENTS?"

"Uh…"  
"EAT IVY, YOU SLIME."

Travis had to be carted off by camp members wearing oven mitts because Katie had covered him in some sort of hybrid Venus Flytrap and poison ivy that had clamped itself all over his body.

Chiron looked around for Grover, who peeked out from behind the curtain.

"I'm nervous!" said Grover, his eyes wide with fear, "They're going to boo me!"

"Nah, man, we won't boo," said Percy, picking up Grover over his shoulder and setting him down in the center of the stage.

"Baaaaaa," said Grover.

Annabeth looked around – she knew exactly what to do to help Grover. Sure, she didn't want him to beat her, but it wouldn't be fair to let him just flounder up there all nervous.

Annabeth ran to Juniper's tree, and said, "Juniper! Grover's in a –"

At his name, Juniper appeared. "Grover?"

"Yes. In a rap battle."

Her eyes glowed, "Rap battles? Rap battles are my thing! Let's go."

As Juniper attached herself to Annabeth's hand, Annabeth momentarily mused about how odd it was that a tree would rap.

Juniper leapt onstage next to her boyfriend, and stole the mic.

Annabeth took this moment to run over to a distracted Beckendorf backstage and put a "Kick me I'm stupid" sticker on his back. She giggled, and kicked him in the rump, put on her invisible cap, and was out of there before he could grab at the air.

"Hit it, Chiron!" Juniper said.

When Chiron just looked at her, she walked over and pressed the button herself.

"HEYYYYY!" said Juniper, Grover still standing petrified in the center of the stage.

The audience stayed silent.

Juniper began to glare at everyone.

Someone from the crowd quietly squeaked, "Hey?"

"HI I'M JUNIPER!

This here is my boy,

He makes me happy,

He is my boy t – hey!"

Grover, annoyed, had ripped the microphone out of Juniper's hand.

"This is my jam!"

"This is my jelly!" said Juniper, shaking her butt.

The entire camp stared. What the hell was going on?

Annabeth began to regret bringing Juniper. As always, when it came to relationships, she never really made the right call.

Percy came up behind her, "What are they doing? Where did Juniper come from?" he asked, finally shaking that stupid look off of his face. Now he just looked like an idiot. But a cute idiot, Annabeth thought.

"Um…"

"You brought her, didn't you?" said Percy.

"Yeah."

The two of them looked back to the stage, where Grover and Juniper were now literally fighting over the microphone, yanking it back and forth like two year olds fighting over a toy.

Percy, also not too smart when it comes to relationships, strode over and took the microphone, "Hi, everyone, I –"

"YOU ALREADY HAD YOUR TURN," shouted Grover, giving Percy a good thump on the head with his reed pipes. This did nothing but make Percy annoyed.

"Chiron," Percy asked, "It's time to intervene!"

"Kids," said Chiron, playing Parcheesi with a randomly appearing goose, "Listen to your mother."

Percy, Juniper and Grover paused their fight, which gave Chiron the exact right amount of time to pull a trick string and send the three of them tumbling underneath the stage, leaving Annabeth in center stage, about two feet from where the floor had opened up.

"Well," said Annabeth, peering at a groaning Grover, a pained Percy, and a jumpy Juniper (ooh! Alliterations!), "There seems to be a hole in the stage."

She had to duck from the amount of shoes thrown at her.

_A/N2: If you catch the AVPM reference, I give you a cookie! *gives cookie* If you review, I will give you another cookie! Ooh, incentive!_


	4. Revenge of the Wise Girl

_A/N: I don't own Revenge Is Sweeter Than You Ever Were by the Veronicas, but it is a very good song. I also don't own the AVPM quotes. If you don't know what AVPM means, youtube "A Very Potter Musical" and start your journey to Starkiddom. If you catch the references, you are awesome._

_To __FoalyWinsForever: There is actually no mention of anything in TLH Tratie related as far as I can remember. I just liked the pairing!_

_I hope you enjoy – it's the Annabeth chapter! Let me know if you like it!_

After around twenty minutes of trying to get Grover, Juniper and Percy out of the pit, Chiron told Grover that he was disqualified.

"What?" complained Grover.

"You failed."

"Baaa…" said Grover sadly. He picked up the microphone and ate it.

"Lucky we have a spare," said Chiron, rolling his eyes and giving it to Annabeth.

"You're like this spare microphone all the time!" said Grover, with misguided anger towards the microphone, "You're SUCH A SPARE!"

"KILL THE SPARE!" shouted Percy.

Annabeth hit him over the head with a shoe, and all went back to normal.

"I'm bleeding!" said Percy, touching his nose, "I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes.

After some serious deliberation, Annabeth decided to pick Percy out from the crowd for the first round. She was sure she would make it to the finals, because, duh, she's Annabeth, and she had none of the Apollo poets to compete with (why didn't any of them raise their hand? Is it because the narrator is a sleep deprived idiot who didn't think of it at the time? OF COURSE NOT THAT'S ABSURD). She had this thing in the bag.

Speaking of bags, she had one of snickers that she'd picked up from the CVS down the road.

Where did she put that…

She would have to think of that later.

Right now she had some serious Seaweed Brain to mush into sushi wrap.

She stepped up to the stage. The light was blinding.

"Percy," she said, glaring offstage, "Take that stupid flashlight out of my face."

He giggled.

"Don't you giggle. You're in for it."

And she began.

"Hey everybody,

Annabeth is my name,

And if you hadn't noticed,

Percy is super lame,

He'll get his just desserts,

In my sweet revenge,"

Percy looked at her and winced. She nodded to him.

Oh yes, Annabeth thought, revenge is sweeter than he ever was.

"And hopefully afterwards,

We'll still be friends,"

Percy, in the audience, muttered, "I wouldn't bet on it."

"Hey now Percy,

What'd you say about smart?

Well I'd call a guy dumb,

If he breaks his own heart,

You leave Calypso,"

The crowd muttered – most of them still hadn't heard about Calypso and Percy's little adventure.

Percy turned bright red and gave Annabeth a very rude hand gesture. She pulled off her sneaker while rapping and pegged him right in the head with it.

"What now? Oh right,

You left her and saw me,

Which led to a fight,

Back off of Rachel,

Cuz she is a noob,"

Various campers looked around to try and find someone named Rachel. They had not been informed of a noob named Rachel. All noob campers were property of the Stoll brothers, and not just new campers. Being a noob at Camp Half Blood ensured that you would get an egg cracked over your skull.

Annabeth rolled her eyes but continued rapping.

"And this is objective,

Hell yes this is true,

You may be first,

But I'm going last,

And my rap's beating yours,

In the white, scrawny ass,"

The entire camp looked around and nodded, leading Percy to glare at Annabeth indignantly.

Unfortunately, the whole camp remembered Percy's white, scrawny, ass from an uncomfortable pants-ing incident by Connor Stoll right after the Battle of the Labyrinth.

"I WAS WEARING UNDERWEAR," said Percy, sick of people bringing it up, "IT JUST WAS PULLED DOWN WITH MY PANTS."

"Sure," said Connor, patting Percy on the head, "No going commando for Captain Nopanties. We know."

Percy ran towards Connor, who ducked, and Percy ended up flying right over Connor's back, slamming into the stage and sliding down quite comically.

"Ahem," said Annabeth, "May I continue my rap?"

"No."

"Shut up, Percy."

Chiron, from the boom box, nodded. "Proceed, Annabeth."

Face it, water boy,

You're about to lose,

Because it's Rachel not me,

That you typically choose,

And you, Beckendorf,

Your secret is mine,"

The dentist effect struck again. If Annabeth had a secret about Beckendorf, everyone wanted to hear it.

Unfortunately, Silena was looking over at Beckendorf, who was blushing. Silena knew a couple of his secrets, but Annabeth was sure no one knew this one.

"And if you make a mistake,

I'll kick your behind,

And Percy, you'll lose,

But I'm almost out of time,

The loss will be yours,

And victory mine,

Bring it on, baby,

You've got nothing on me,

And you're not gonna win,

Thank you all and PEACE!"

The audience was in shock for a moment, and Annabeth worried she had done something wrong.

Then, suddenly, raucous applause broke out. The entire camp was a mixture of laughter and clapping, and Annabeth beamed.

_A/N2: WHY DO I KEEP HAVING PEOPLE THROW SHOES?_


	5. Thecy?

_A/N: I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE._

_I wasn't feeling funny at all lately and the whole parody aspect of things just wasn't rolling for me. However now…It's back!_

_Thank you so much for reviewing and I hope no one hates me for taking so long._

_Read, review, enjoy!_

When applause for Annabeth's rap died down, Chiron looked around.

"Has anybody seen Katie?" he asked, checking backstage and behind various curtains. "On second thought," he said, "I can't find Travis either. Maybe I don't want to know…"

"Uh…" said Grover. Everyone crowded around where he stood.

Katie and Travis were in the pit under the stage, smooching.

A lot.

Chiron coughed awkwardly, "Um" he said, "Katie?"

"Shut up, I'm busy," said Katie, momentarily breaking away from Travis' lips.

"You're disqualified."  
"Pinecone."

"What?"

Her meaning was apparent when a pinecone dropped from a tree onto Chiron's head. His response was to mumble incoherently and close the hole in the floor back up.

"Well," said Chiron, "Since Katie's," he cleared his throat, "Busy, and Grover got disqualified because of his girlfriend," At this, Grover glared at Juniper, who was busy conversing with one of her tree nymph pals, "I guess the final three are Beckendorf, Percy and Annabeth."

Annabeth tapped her fingers together evilly, "He, he, he," she said with an evil laugh.

The camp turned to stare at her. "What?" she asked.

"Evil doesn't look good on you, Annabeth," said Percy, who was obviously lying because WE ALL KNOW that he thinks she always looks fantastic.

Annabeth decided right then and there that her rap was going to be so epic that her first rap was going to pale in comparison, like Percy's pale white butt.

She giggled.  
"I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LAUGHING ABOUT," said Percy, "AND SERIOUSLY, I WAS WEARING UNDERWEAR."

"Sure…" said the entire camp in a chorus that sounded rehearsed. In reality, they'd just had this conversation so much that it felt like they'd gone over this a million times.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU," yelled Percy, folding his arms and sitting down in the center of the stage.

"Well," said Chiron, "Since Percy is being a child about pretty much everything and he's already center stage, he'll freestyle first. Go ahead, Percy."

"NO!" said Percy, frowning.

"Percy," said Annabeth, "Stand up and start rapping, or I will hit you with my shoe."

At that, Percy stood up, spun around, and miraculously was wearing some shockingly rapper-esque clothing.  
"Um…" said Annabeth, confused.

"GET OUT THE WAY, BITCH."

Annabeth was so startled she backed off of the stage and landed on the ground on top of some poor younger half blood, who was just so happy to be near a female that he didn't even complain. Percy began his rap.

"I am Percy, hear me roar,

This is Annabeth, she's a bore!"

Annabeth from the ground threw the shoe at Percy, but he, with super ninja gangsta powers, managed to avoid it. It pegged Grover in the stomach instead. The satyr watched it hit him, then fall to the ground, then shrugged and took a bite.

"Ew," said Grover, shuddering slightly, "Vans."

"At least it's not New Balance," said Chiron sympathetically.

"Annabeth thinks, and thinks a lot,

And I think she's cool, and really hot,"

The entire camp froze. Everyone was staring at Percy, who quickly did the Percy thing and changed the subject before any ground could be made on the subject. Annabeth, on the other hand, was so unpleasantly used to people commenting on her looks that day that she was ready to throw a bagpipe at a chicken wing and call it a day.

"When she's in a fire, she's so toasty,

And that's what I mean by hot, just roasty,

And by cool I meant, well, under water,

Of course she'll be cool not hotter,"

Annabeth glared at Percy. Oh her revenge would be sweeter than apple pie.

Which she had an inexplicable craving for out of nowhere.

Why didn't Camp Half Blood serve pie? She needed to ask somebody about that.

"And Beckendorf here, well he's a beast,

When we have small dinners, he has a feast,

He scares me sometimes cuz he's so buff,

And his girlfriend, there's some hot, hot stuff,"

Beckendorf glared at Percy who, again, backtracked. Percy began to fall over himself trying to get away. Beckendorf strode towards him with a look of such anger Annabeth began to fear for, not only Percy's boy parts, but for everyone in the camp's life.

"If she's on a stove, she's hot, like a lot,

And…Something that rhymes with lot,"

Beckendorf, startled at the horrendous lyric, stopped in his tracks and ceased his mission to end Percy's life. Everyone gave Percy one of Annabeth's characteristic wow-you're-a-moron looks, which she was a little uncomfortable with, because it was HER signature look. Not theirs.

"Hey, look at that, that wasn't good,

It didn't really rhyme just like it should,

But remember I'm better than Annabeth,"

Annabeth glared at him and stormed towards him from side stage, and he quickly improvised the next line quite impressively.

"And that last line will cause my death,

I'm running out of time that's true,

But always remember: never throw shoes!"

Percy's rap was such an abomination that, despite his end-of-the-rap moral, the entire camp had to dig through the pile of heels, sneakers and various other shoes to find him at the bottom.

"WAIT!" he screamed, miraculously becoming clothed in normal Percy clothing again. "Wait, I can fix this!" He stood up and ran towards the middle of the stage. "Let me try again!"

Beckendorf clocked him over the head with the Season One DVD set of Glee, and Percy fell over.

"Never objectify my beautiful and perfect girlfriend again, nerd."

"I'm sorry!" said Percy, whimpering slightly and rubbing the lump on the top of his head, "But that wasn't me! That was, um…" The whole camp looked at him expectantly. "My alter ego Thecy!"

"Thecy…?" asked Annabeth, giving him her signature look. "What the heck does THAT stand for?"

Percy stood up, looking disgustingly heroic, "Theseus. My supah fly badass alter ego. It's who I am if I need to whip an awesome rap out of nowhere."

Annabeth rolled her eyes, "Then he wasn't there for that horrible rap a second ago…"

Annabeth would have had to run from Percy's rage, but, luckily, Connor yanked down his pants again, Percy fell over, and every single camp member dropped to their knees in praise that he remembered underwear that time.

"THEY CAME DOWN WITH THE PANTS," yelled Percy, weeping bitterly on the ground.

_A/N2: It's moments like these when I wish I knew people on fanfic…My friends and I have a joke that if someone wears New Balance sneakers, it's an automatic dealbreaker. Oh, New Balance…_


End file.
